In This World, Not of It.

I see you sometimes, you know?
Here and There.
I can feel you, sometimes.
My heart beats at the thought of your eyes.
Blue, green, brown?
Will they penetrate my soul?
Will they get who I really am?
Or simply see right through me,
Missing the whole point,
Like the last...
Nodding his way through it all,
Lying his way through life,
Kidding himself, always.
But no, this time will be different.
I swear it.
I owe you that much.
And your smile?
Will it be bright?
Will it carry me through the bad?
How about the good?
I need your joy. I need it.
Oh, that smile.
Will it be like the last?
Using that smile to pretend,
To hide it all,
To generate false joy,
Tricking me,
Making me believe I was happy.
I wasn't happy.
I want to be happy.
But no, not you.
I swear it.
You'll be different, you see.
You must be.
I saw you last week, you know?
At the supermarket.
Those eyes, that smile.
So promising.
You saw me, too.
I saw you two weeks ago, you see.
Downtown.
That talent, that connection.
A one-way connection.
You missed me, as you do most times.
I see you every night, truly.
Though the fog is thick,
And I'm scared to venture out,
You're there.
You will be there.
One day, it will all become clear.